2. Embracing the Ego in Writing

In this episode, here are a handful of topics mentioned:

01:55: Comparisons and expectations from my past self

04:09: Checking our egos and embracing the unknown of our future

06:00: Encouragement for aspiring writers and creators

Virginia [00:00:02]:
Welcome to Sappic Rising(TM), where we embody our creative muse, our wild authenticity, and share in a little bit of rebelliousness. Hey there. It's Virginia. And today we're talking about a story and opportunity a lesson that I recently had in the last couple of weeks. And so first of all, welcome if you're new here. I really appreciate you listening to these stories and these modes of inspiration because as creators we sometimes have those internal barriers. We have external barriers and things that we have to work through. So speaking of let's talk about what I had to work through very recently long story short FSW has been around on paper for a while now and it's been growing.

Virginia [00:00:45]:
I've done business in the way we'll say as a crescendo of learning and developing and offers and creating all sorts of things along this journey. Well, one of those things that I've created in the last couple of years is I have been writing WLW or LGBT women into sapphic fantasy novels and frankly, I'm really fucking proud of that. I'm not gonna lie to you, but I had a moment of ego and we'll say entrapment. A dear friend of mine was so wonderful. They were talking about me to somebody in my academic history. Now real quick. You should know about me. I love learning.

Virginia [00:01:29]:
I adore learning. I've taken many graduate courses. Since my MSW and getting that in 2010. I also have my certificate in private practice licensure that I keep up every other year. I absorb information like a sponge and appreciate just the process of expanding my mind to my heart and my soul. So anyway, this person I also know from my academic journey as I've said and this friend and I have been keeping in touch about my business and my books and all that. Well, this person, and my friend were talking about how now I quote write novels. And when she texted me that, I'm not gonna lie initially I was like, oh my god, that's so cool.

Virginia [00:02:19]:
Wow. Thanks. And then I also went, fuck. I used to be in academia when I thought about publishing, I never thought I'd be self publishing or an independent author in that way. And I still like my, you know, I'd still like to get a PhD someday, which is a whole nother conversation. So you can tell through this story. There was this internal battle in a way this internal dialogue of oh, hey, that's so amazing. And then on the other side god damn it.

Virginia [00:02:51]:
God damn it. I'm just writing novels. So I actually had to sit with that. And again, it's not my friend's fault. She was she was hyping me up. It was beautiful. And this academic they're they're a really good person. I had a great experience with them.

Virginia [00:03:05]:
I had to sit back and tame the ego so to speak. I mean first of all, I think whether you call it ego or whether you call it this inner child or you can call it it whatever you want to. I don't care. So I was having this moment and it took me an afternoon. We'll say to dial myself back in. Earlier in this episode, of course, I said, yeah, I'm proud of these novels, like thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of words that came out of my, essentially my hands onto the keyboard and into fruition and pouring out of my soul very unexpectedly. Okay. But again, I thought I'd be publishing something different.

Virginia [00:03:49]:
I thought I'd be publishing. I don't know if I want to say a memoir, but I've I've also published academically. Actually, I just fucking remembered that. So thank you for listening to this in real time this moment. And actually that's a really good point to make here together when You and I are sitting here and we're proud of what we've created We have to check our egos or that that doesn't feel good enough side of us When because it'll happen when confronted with our past self that had quote higher expectations or perfectionism or impostor syndrome comparison all the things. Okay, So that's one thing. We need to check ourselves. We need to do it with grace.

Virginia [00:04:34]:
We need to do it with forgiveness because back then on that path, I didn't know I'd be on this path. Let me tell you that. Or it was all kind of in development at the same time. But now that I'm doing FSW in the way that I am and, it frankly, even rebooting it this year in 2025. Oh, it's feeling good. It's feeling good. When you have that internal struggle, I just want to give you a chance to say it's okay. You're normal.

Virginia James [00:05:01]:
It happens to all of us or at least 99.99% of us. Another piece is that, you know, like I mentioned I actually did I did publish something during my academic time in a PhD program actually, and that process it was a book review. So it wasn't anything like a thesis or a dissertation. But it was something it was something. Dissertation But it was something it was something. So when I look at my writing skill set and how I did how I've developed as a writer frankly I am damn proud of myself because I've had the opportunity to author multiple pieces and or work on technical writings in varying roles that I've had and it's given me the The lessons and the moments of clarity to who I am today. So that's the other point. I want to make for you because every friggin choice that you make Everything that you do is a breadcrumb on your beautiful sacred trail What you create is stems I believe from your intuition your experiences those out of nowhere moments and How you view the world and it's all beautiful every step you've taken the best you've done Let me rephrase that you did the best you could have done with the information that you knew in the time Okay When that internal voice is nagging at you to be better and do better, but like on a toxic scale, we're not just talking about your standard expansion growth in the day to day.

Virginia [00:06:46]:
Give them a minute, let them speak for, for just a moment and then they can take a back seat. They can take a back seat. So if you're a writer or you want to be a writer, you don't know where to start. You don't know what to do. You don't know if you're good enough. Take a pause, my friend. When your muse is there and they have something to say, don't worry about if it's impactful right then. Don't worry about if you're good enough.

Virginia [00:07:13]:
Don't worry about 18 shades of punctuation because there's always editors out there or folk to help. You just, just take the time. Be your own muse, be your own cheerleader. And yes, you're going to have to be your cheerleader down the road when you're like, oh, my book sales aren't where they want to be. Or a publishing house has turned me down again. Or, or, you know, whatever. This creator path is about being your own cheerleader. I believe in your creative process.

Virginia [00:07:44]:
I believe in how you show up in this world, whether it's writing or creating content online. Come back to you, know that there's gonna be moments where you check yourself, and you have to check yourself, and you're still gonna shine. So there's the pep talk. There's the story. I hope that you have a wonderful day after you hear this. You feel a little bit of a boost. Okay, we're all in this together. And I am also recording this right before the full moon here in The US.

Virginia [00:08:16]:
So blessed full moon to any of you who are practitioners and or into that sort of thing. And I will talk to you soon.